In modern times many babies have been designated as “illegitimate” because their biological parents were not married according to the fashion in vogue within Christian or secular white cultures. In Lorne Simon's Micmac novel, Stones and Switches, Mimi suffers because a Catholic priest had forced her to be “an illegitimate child” by refusing to marry her common-law parents while her mother was pregnant with her. “The priest often preached against ... common-law unions by using illegitimate children as examples of 'bad fruit'.” Two young girls were “crushed at an early age by the prejudice” created by the priest's sermons.
I want to consider traditional First American attitudes, which tend to always honor and support motherhood, but first it might be useful to consider some English words. “Wedlock” in Old English was “wed-lak,” meaning a pledge coupled with an offering or gift. The word “wedding” comes from “weddian” (German “wetten”) and means “to pledge, engage.” Thus the original Anglo-German concept had to do with a mutual pledge, not with a church ceremony or civil certificate. “Marriage” is derived from French “marier,” which in turn comes from Latin words (maritus, marido in Spanish) probably pointing towards simply being partners or young persons, not a ceremony as such.
Interestingly, the most famous unmarried mother is, of course, Maryam (Mary) of Nazareth, the mother of Yehoshu'a (Yeshu'a or Jesus). The dictionary tells us that Maryam (Miryam in Hebrew, Maryam in her native Aramaic) means “rebellion,” quite a name for the unmarried mother of such a man!
Of course, many persons will be surprised at the suggestion that Maryam was an unmarried mother, but such is certainly the case. First, she clearly became pregnant with Yehoshu'a while she was still a single woman, if we are to believe the text attributed to Matthew. We are specifically informed that Yosef, with whom she was apparently betrothed, had not yet married her when she became “with child.” But what is really significant, is that no Jewish wedding ceremony is described at all in the gospels.
Mark, which is thought by scholars to be the oldest of the gospels, written by an unknown Greek-speaking person about 70 CE (AD), says absolutely nothing about the origin or birth of Yehoshu'a. All that we know from Mark is that their home was in Nazareth, a very small village in Galilee (al-Nazira), and that Maryam came to try to take Yehoshu'a home because she and his siblings were concerned about his preaching and curing. Mark mentions specifically that Yehoshu'a had been a carpenter and that he had brothers and sisters in Nazareth. There is no mention of any father, dead or alive. As readers of Mark will know, brothers and sisters came to take Yehoshu'a home, but were rejected by the latter in favor of his religious followers. Yehoshu'a also comments that a prophet will be repudiated by his own countrypeople and his relatives at home.
It is interesting that the oldest gospel, on which much of Matthew and Luke are based, seemingly contradicts the idea of a “virgin” birth by showing that his mother and siblings do not accept his mission. Surely, Maryam would have perceived that her child was exceptional if he was conceived while she was a virgin. Another problem with the virgin birth is, of course, the fact that one James (Ya'akob) is identified as the elder brother of Yehoshu'a in early Christian literature.
In any case, Matthew, written later (about 80 CE) reflects the growing struggle between the followers of Yehoshu'a (dead for fifty years) and other Jews. The virgin birth is introduced along with a family tree which traces Yehoshu'a's ancestry back to David, King of Israel, supposedly a prerequisite for anyone aspiring to be accepted as the Jewish messiah (anointed one, or leader). However, the family tree reaches Yehoshu'a only through Yosef, not through Maryam. That means, perhaps, that Yosef must have been Yehoshu'a's father in fact, not merely symbolically.
But all of this is rather beside the point, since no matter how Maryam became pregnant we have no description of any marriage ceremony or any exchange of vows in either Matthew or Luke, although in the latter Yosef is referred to as her “husband” (in English translation). I would have thought that at least a brief mention of a ceremony would be important if a formal marriage had, in fact, taken place. (Some of the much-later literature about Maryam states that Yosef was a much older man and that he was her guardian, but such later stories are highly suspect as to historical value).
“Virgin births” are quite common in Native American traditions. For example, one Mandan story has “Lone Man” (a creation figure) deciding that he would like to live with humans. He selected a young virgin from a humble family and transformed himself into something which she is enticed to eat. In that way he goes inside her and she becomes pregnant. Subsequently she gave birth to him without ever having had intercourse. (From Beckwith, Myths and Hunting Stories of the Mandan and Hidatsa, 1930).
Although ceremonies often accompanied the decision of two persons to live together in Native cultures, there are many cases of a couple being free to set up household together. In any case, children were seldom or never (to my knowledge) subject to discrimination because of their parents not having had a public ceremony of union. On the other hand, they might suffer if they did not have strong family links since uncles, aunts, cousins, et cetera, were always (and still are) very important in most tribes. Adoption, however, was an option and relatives could be acquired by informal and formal action.
Maryam may have become pregnant while still single, but it placed no known stigma upon Yehoshu'a nor should it have!
