April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month and it is a good time to reflect on how families deal with crisis and discipline.
All families experience a crisis. Strong families use these experiences to learn and grow. Bad experiences can about good changes and help bring families become closer. Strong families will seek help when needed.
Children and teenagers need to be disciplined in order to learn the difference between right and wrong. It also teaches them about what behaviors are appropriate. Time-outs are generally used for pre-school and elementary school age children. A good rule is one minute per each year of the child's age for this practice.
Also remember to praise your child after a time-out. Time-outs are not appropriate for teenagers. Rules should be enforceable and reasonable. As your teen grows and matures the rules may need to change. For example, if your teenager damages someone else's property they should be held responsible for helping to pay for the damage. Another reasonable consequence for breaking a rule is grounding or loss of privileges, such as driving or spending the night at a friend's house. Grounding your teen for long periods of time, such as a month or more, will only make them more rebellious.
Hitting or physical punishment should never be used as a form of discipline on children or teenagers. Hitting only teaches them to become a hitter themselves. It is not human nature to love someone who hurts us. Hitting interferes with parent and child bonding. Children who are physically punished may build up anger and frustration, which is likely to erupt during the teen years.
No matter what children or teens say or do they need to know that their parents love them. Say, "I love you," or hug your child to show some kind of affection. Each family has their own way of doing this. Other ways of keeping the family close include storytelling. Laughter is a great stress reducer. Just remember to laugh with each other and not at each other.
Children learn what they live and the best example is a good example.
Menominee works in Bay Mills Protective Services.
